


two slow dancers

by basl



Series: glowing pink [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23331208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basl/pseuds/basl
Summary: "Who are you dating? Do I know him?"Dan snorts."Phil," it comes out easy and natural, Dan's brain processing what he said a second too late.or dan and phil are best friends and neighbors and secretly (not so secretly) in love but from Dan's POV.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: glowing pink [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676836
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43
Collections: phandomficfests: escape from reality





	two slow dancers

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't betaed, sorry for any mistake!

Dan doesn't even notice the first lie, it slips through his lips like dry sand escapes your fingers when the wind blows. He must show a lot of conviction because Rina believes him without a fuss and she doesn't usually believe in Dan's excuses.

She wants Dan to go on a date with a friend of her’s, she has been nagging Dan for a whole week. It's Friday, at this point Dan is in a state of total annoyance.

"Where is this coming from?" Dan squints at her. "In all the months I have known you, you haven't cared about my love life."

She makes a face. "Ok, maybe my friend saw a picture of you and has been bullying me into getting him a date with you."

"Well, that's flattering," Rina rolls her eyes, Dan ignores her. "But I don't think my boyfriend will appreciate me going out with some other dude."

Her face lights up at the word boyfriend, Dan can see the moment it happens, her eyes go wide and her mouth hangs open.

"You didn't tell me about your boyfriend!"

Dan shrugs. "It's pretty recent."

"Who are you dating? Do I know him?"

Dan snorts. 

"Phil," it comes out, easy and natural, Dan's brain processing what he said a second too late.

Dan is not going to think why it feels so right to say it, he's sure the guilt will come later anyway.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Dragging his feet against the floor while he makes his way through the hallway, Dan reaches his door. He’s standing in front of it but changes his mind at the last second. He turns around. There's another place he would rather be at.

Dan gets his key out and opens the door like is his own home, he ignores the feeling of buzzing bees in his stomach and twists the doorknob. Sometimes, Dan likes to pretend this is his life and he gets to come home to Phil every day, and kiss him hello and goodbye and goodnight and kiss him and kiss him and kiss him... But he ruined his chance.

Phil’s apartment is quiet when Dan enters, that’s a rare occurrence, Phil is usually home when Dan comes back, with food already on the way and maybe some board game set up.

“Phil?” Dan takes his shoes off by the door. “Phil, are you here?”

A noise comes from the room, it sounds like a soft whine. Dan rushes in.

“Phil?” 

He's a lump on the bed, curled up on himself. Phil whines again.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dan sits on the edge of the bed.

"Head hurts,” Phil mumbles, sounding miserable. Dan pushes the hair off his forehead.

“Is it really bad?” Dan makes sure to use the softest voice he can, to not disturb him. “Did you take your tablets?”

Phil shakes his head.

Dan goes fetch the tablets, he knows where Phil keeps them. It’s not the first time he has witnessed one of Phil’s migraines, he knows how bad they can get. He goes to the kitchen and fills a glass with cool water before going back to the room.

“There you go,” Phil sits up to take his medicine. “You look like a kicked puppy,” Dan gives him a warm smile 

Phil pouts. “Lay with me,” he says, making grabby hands towards Dan.

The bees inside Dan’s stomach start buzzing harder, Dan wouldn’t say no to Phil.

Dan takes off his coat, realizing just now that he’s still wearing it, and slips into the bed behind Phil, he wraps an arm around Phil's waist and rests his open palm on his stomach.

“Missed you,” Phil mumbles before falling unconscious again.

In moments like this Dan tries to remember he did this to himself.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

“You have a boyfriend?” Estelle asks, cornering Dan in the break room.

“Rina told you?”

“Of course she did, she’s my wife,” she puts her hands on her waist and gives him a look that makes him feel like he’s in trouble.

“You’re not married.”

“We’re beyond that,” Estelle shrugs. “Why didn’t you tell us before? Haven’t you thought about all the double dates we could have been having all this time?”

“It’s pretty recent,” he repeats the lie he told Rina just the other day.

“Phil is your neighbour, right?” Dan nods. “I mean, it was just a matter of time, you’re always talking about him.” Her whole demeanour changes after she says that and she smiles at him. “Anyway, I’ll stop bothering you but you owe us a date.” She points a finger to him seeming far more threatening that someone so short and so sweet-looking should seem before leaving the room.

Dan has gotten himself into a big mess, he knows Estelle and Rina won’t stop pestering him until they meet Phil. Dan likes them, they are great people and they took Dan under their wing when he first got his job, he thinks of them as his friends and he hates lying to them. Still, he can’t just tell them the truth, Dan’s still filled with regret from the things he said.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Phil has no business being so cute, with his rosy cheeks and pretty blue eyes, tipsy from the wine they had with dinner. Martyn and Cornelia’s sofa is too small for the four of them, Phil stands in front of them for an awkward second before Dan pulls him to sit on his lap. Phil giggles and Martyn and Corn are unfazed, Dan wonders if they think there’s something between him and Phil. He hopes they do.

Dan wraps his arms around Phil’s waist and squeezes, maybe he can blame it on the wine but he feels it wouldn’t be fair, he touches Phil because he wants to and he can only hope Phil feels the same autonomy of his actions when he rests his head on the crook of Dan’s neck and puts his hands over his.

Everything feels easy with Phil, everything but words. Dan always thought he was eloquent enough to make himself understood, the problem is he’s also pretty impulsive and easily frightened, it seems. 

When Dan first met Phil he was terrified, he thought Phil was an amazing person and he couldn’t believe someone like him was interested in Dan, at the moment he convinced himself he was doing Phil a favour because Dan was just going to disappoint him. Those were other times, Dan likes to think, now he knows his own worth and he knows he would never hurt Phil intentionally.

The real problem is that he doesn’t know how to communicate that to Phil, at least not with words. Maybe one of these days Phil will realize that every single one of Dan’s touches is full of intent and love and all the words Dan can't bring himself to say.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Dan has been moping around all day, he must admit. Phil left early to visit his parents and Dan was cut short of his Phil time. Maybe he should be doing a better job at masking it but he misses Phil and he dreads going back home because he won’t be there.

Rina notices Dan’s mood because her desk it too close to his and she always seems to have time to check on Dan at least ten times a day, she says she’s perceptive but Estelle says she’s nosy, Dan doesn’t have an opinion, it’s nice to have someone caring about him.

“Why the long face, hun?” she asks, sitting on top of his desk without a care in the world.

Dan answers before thinking too much, “Phil’s away.”

“Oh, no. Have you been left all alone?”

Dan pouts and nods.

“Poor baby,” she pouts back at him. “We should have a sleepover!” Rina smiles again, holding her hand close to her chest and putting on an excited face.

Dan doesn’t see why not to agree, he needs something to lift himself anyway and he would like to have some fun and not be alone.

“I’m down if you and Estelle don’t mind a sad giraffe invading your home.”

Rina laughs. “We don’t mind. I’ll text you our address in a second,” she waves him goodbye and gets off the desk.

Dan spends the rest of his shift being grateful for his friends -and thinking about Phil, but just a little.-

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

“You think Phil will be free next weekend?” Estelle asks out of nowhere.

Dan is laying between them on their bed a little full of pizza and a little drunk. He’s caught off guard for a second while he scrambles his brain for a credible lie.

“I could ask him but he has been very busy lately,” Dan feels awful for lying to them, he’s a shit friend and he doesn’t deserve them. “But I promise I’ll convince him to do something all of us together soon.”

“That’s alright,” Rina chimes in, Dan thought she was already asleep for how still she was. They might have had one too many Mojitos. “We just want to know the guy that has our Dan's heart,” she drapes her arm and her leg around Dan and reaches out for Estelle’s hand, their joined hands resting on Dan’s stomach.

“Serious talk,” Estelle says. “Does he treat you right?"

"Yeah," Dan says all high pitched, feeling his face get flushed.

"We just want you to be happy," Rina cranks her neck in an awkward angle to drop a kiss on Dan's cheek.

"I'm happy, I promise," it looks like the lies will never cease.

"If he ever hurts you, you just tell us and we will spray paint 'bitch' on his wall."

Dan snorts, "I'll keep that in mind."

He definitely deserves the ‘worst person in the world’ award.

  
  


‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

The domesticity of going grocery shopping with Phil hurts Dan deep to his non-existent soul. He finds himself wishing, once again, that this was his life.

He pushes the cart, Phil beside him trying to read his messy handwriting because he couldn’t write his shopping list on his phone or just try to remember what he needs and die when he inevitably forgets something like normal people do.

They stop by the cereal aisle and Phil takes his time choosing one, Dan gets his phone out and scrolls through Instagram, he sees Rina posted a picture of the day of their sleepover, she and Estelle are sitting up on the bed, Rina is pecking Estelle’s cheek. They are bending in a strange way to avoid crushing Dan, that is still sleeping between them. The pic is captioned ‘perfect centrepiece’.

Dan huffs out a quiet laugh and likes the post, he’s thinking of a clever comment when Phil taps him on the shoulder.

“Should we have granola for breakfast?” and then with a mischievous tone. “Or eggs?”

The implication that they’re having breakfast together makes Dan’s heart beat faster but he tries to keep a neutral face, better if Phil doesn’t know what a simple thing like the promise of shared meals can do to Dan.

“We’re vegan,” Dan reminds him.

Phil makes a face and puts the granola in the cart. He doesn’t have to, Dan thinks, he is the one trying to be vegan and Phil is just his friend, it’s not like they live together and have to accommodate to each other’s life habits or can take conjoined decisions, this food is for Phil’s place and Dan’s veganism shouldn’t affect the way he shops and yet Phil cares, he wants to do things with Dan, do things for Dan. 

This is the kind of moment that makes Dan want to be brave for once and talk to Phil about what he feels and admit that he screwed up at the beginning of their relationship but he always talks himself out of it. 

The supermarket is not a great place for love declarations anyway.

  
  


‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Dan suspects he has reached his lowest point when he fakes a call to get out of another double date planning conversation, he can’t keep making excuses to avoid introducing his alleged boyfriend to Estelle and Rina. He could say that he broke up with Phil, though they might not believe it. Maybe he could say it was something mutual, that they decided they were better off as friends.

His stomach turns at the idea, even a fictional breakup would be too much for his already bruised heart, if he actually had Phil he wouldn’t give him up as easy as this, he would try to make it work.

Maybe he’s just setting himself off for rejection but Dan decides that he’s going to tell Phil how he feels after the Holidays, he just doesn’t want to ruin that for Phil so he’s going to wait. 

For now, he’s going to try to convince Phil to show up to a lunch date with Rina and Estelle as Dan’s boyfriend.

Without him knowing.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ 

Of course, Phil shows up despite not having an idea of what is going on. Of course, he plays along even if he is notoriously mad. Of course, he’s the perfect fake boyfriend. Of course, Dan is more screwed than he was before.

Phil really is the perfect boyfriend, Dan reckons. He’s nice to Dan but still has a sense of humour to tease him and bant with him, he’s charming and pretty and Dan is sure Rina and Estella have bought the act. 

Dan has bought it too if he’s being honest, he feels like he’s being allowed to have a peek into the life he could have had if only he hasn’t pushed Phil away. Phil is the best person in the world and Dan is an imposter.

By the end of the date, Dan has convinced himself there’s no way Phil still wants him and he should keep his distance

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ 

Phil needs time away from him, Dan repeats in his head over and over again until he makes himself think he believes it.

Not knocking at Phil's door every time he comes back from work gets harder every time, not having Phil there to share every moment it's killing Dan. But confrontation is worse.

Dan can't handle Phil's disappointment, Phil's anger. What if Phil hates him for being a liar? What if he doesn’t want to be friends with Dan anymore? What if he moves out and Dan never sees him again?

Dan doesn't even want to think about it.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

When the power goes out and Phil comes into his apartment Dan can barely believe it. He forgets that he’s scared of the dark and just jumps into Phil’s arms, too happy to know Phil doesn’t hate him to care about the absence of light around them.

They talk and Dan confesses he was scared of fucking up everything between them and Phil tells him he loves him despite everything. Things still feel a little tilted, they have a lot to talk about, but Dan has the feeling they will work it out at the end.

  
  


‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ 

Phil is a big fan of double dates. Well, probably he’s just a big fan of Estelle and Rina. Dan can’t blame him, they’re amazing.

They all hang out so much Rina ends up pointing out Phil’s new lack of responsibilities and Dan has to come clean about his lies. He’s lucky they’re just mad at him for about five minutes. Estelle says she’s too glad it worked out at the end to be angry and Rina says she only forgives him because Phil is sweet, not because of Dan, he’s an asshole. It’s better than what he could have ever asked for.

And Dan gets to be with Phil, as unbelievable as he finds it. 

They’re on the sofa, Dan’s arm over Phil’s shoulders. It’s nothing they wouldn't have done before but it still gives Dan a trill, he's Phil's boyfriend, he has his arm around his shoulders and Phil is cuddling into him. It's not different and yet it's completely different. There are no excuses or pretences, they’re free to love each other. 

Good thing this is Dan's life.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> You can reblog [here](https://babethepig.tumblr.com/post/613678598016073728/two-slow-dancers).


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